Books for People Pleasers

Are You Mad At Me?

I picked up Are You Mad At Me after a particularly frustrating evening of overthinking where I decided that things needed to change. I’m constantly fighting the urge to ask people in my life if they’re unhappy with me for any reason, so it’s refreshing to read a book from an author and therapist who’s been through the exact same thing! She details what the fawn response is within our fight/flight/freeze reactions, and how different types of dysfunctional home environments can cause someone to live their adult life in people-pleasing mode. I’m not finished yet - but the tips I’ve picked up already about how to change our mindsets and innate reactions have been very informative. I’m looking forward to not caring about anyone’s opinions! (or maybe not,...

Why Does Everybody Hate Me?

Your boss asked you for a chat, and you just knew you were going to be firedYou didn't sleep all weekend, and you weren't firedSomeone answered your message with a thumbs-up emoji and you just knew they hated you.So you stopped talking to them, they eventually stopped texting, and now you miss them like crazySomeone went for a bathroom break mid-film, and you just knew it's because they think your taste in films is terribleYou were so upset you missed the rest of the film, and they left earlyRejection is physically painful for you. Even the most minor criticism stings. And why wouldn't it? By the time you were 12, you'd received 20,000 negative messages about yourself, your brain and your unique ADHD way of living life. 20,000.Alex...

The Courage to be Disliked

The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga explores the ideas of Alfred Adler, presenting them through a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man. The book delves into themes of self-acceptance, freedom, and how to build a life without being constrained by others' opinions. It encourages readers to embrace their individuality and find happiness by living authentically.

The Let Them Theory

New York Times Bestselling Author. Millions of books sold worldwide! A Life-Changing Tool Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About What if the key to happiness, success, and love was as simple as two words? If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or frustrated with where you are, the problem isn't you. The problem is the power you give to other people. Two simple words—Let Them—will set you free. Free from the opinions, drama, and judgements of others. Free from the exhausting cycle of trying to manage everything and everyone around you. The Let Them Theory puts the power to create a life you love back in your hands—and this book will show you exactly how to do it. In her latest groundbreaking book, The Let Them Theory, Mel...

Women Living Deliciously

ARE YOU READY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE? THE INSTANT SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'A bold and empowering exploration of self-love... Think of it as a winter shot of self-esteem' - GLAMOUR Women Living Deliciously is the follow-up to the record-breaking, bestselling Women Don't Owe You Pretty by Florence Given, which has sold over 750,000 copies worldwide. The book will help women uncover their sense of awe and wonder that has been buried by the layers of shame and self-objectification that get piled on us by the patriarchy. For too long we have internalised the belief that our bodies are things to be looked at - instead of lived in. That it's embarrassing to fully express ourselves. That we cannot trust our desire. Women Living Deliciously unpacks...

Mauritau

Mauritau is something life changing and special, an empowering guide for anyone who wants to be more in tune with their own inner states and the state of their mauri. Jess has translated her own personal experience and her journey in both Western psychology as well as Mātauranga Māori into a beautiful book that incorporates a lot of useful knowledge about the 12 states of mauri we can be in, as well as a useful journal to get you started with reflecting each day and putting the information to use. I can already feel a shift in the way I am checking in with myself and understanding the daily changing landscape of my hauora thanks to this language Jess has so generously shared. I hope many people get...

The People Pleaser's Guide to Saying Yes to You

Like a warm hug ... Full of relatable stories and practical tips that will help you find your way back to your true self, even when chaos reigns. - Luka McCabe A deeply personal and practical guide to embracing the new seasons of life ... Hollie's insights are invaluable. - Georgie Stevenson A crash course in getting to the root of your people-pleasing tendencies, from the bestselling author of The People Pleaser's Guide to Putting Yourself First. So you've learned how to stop caring so much about what other people think, but what comes next? Can you prioritise self-care without apology or fear? Get clear on who you really are, even when facing a major life crisis. Learn how to truly tend to your nervous system. Understand why...

Why Do I Keep Doing This?

Many of us were told to stuff our feelings down when we were younger. We were taught that our emotional reactions should be controlled so we didn't embarrass or upset our parents. However, if that control oozes over into our adult relationships, it's considered a bad thing. Controlling our friends or romantic partners is seen as toxic. Some sides of control are meant to keep us safe, while others harm connections. So, what are we supposed to do? In Why Do I Keep Doing This?, licensed therapist Kati Morton explores this common struggle. She shows how our anxiety is often connected to feeling like we are too much or less deserving of time and care. Difficulties with asserting ourselves, or taking what we require, can harm our development,...

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fk by Sarah Knight is a witty guide to prioritising your mental energy and freeing yourself from unnecessary commitments. The book helps readers learn how to stop caring about things that don't truly matter, enabling them to focus on what brings joy and satisfaction to their lives. It's all about decluttering your mind and finding happiness through mindful choices.

The Self-Love Experiment

The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser offers a practical guide to cultivating self-acceptance and embracing one's authentic self. Through personal anecdotes and actionable steps, Kaiser empowers readers to overcome self-doubt and create a life filled with happiness and fulfilment. This self-help book encourages embracing imperfections and committing to a journey of genuine self-love and personal growth.

Me: A Love Story

In 2018, Dan was riding high. He was a network news anchor with a bestselling memoir about how an on-air panic attack had led him to meditation and delivered a new outlook on life. But, when he signed up for something called a "360 review" from the people in his personal and professional life, he discovered that his journey had only just begun. Friends, family, and colleagues described Dan as self-centered, high-handed, short-tempered, and dismissive. The report was so bad that it provoked him to launch a feverish investigation that ultimately led him to the last place he would've expected—self-love. Many of us believe that we need a harsh inner critic in order to get anything done, and even after years of meditation, Dan was still pushing himself...

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition by John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud explores how to establish healthy boundaries in various aspects of life, including relationships, work, and personal growth. It provides practical advice and tools for defining and maintaining those boundaries to foster well-being and improve interactions with others.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab is a self-help guide that teaches readers how to establish healthy boundaries in various aspects of their lives. The book provides practical advice on identifying boundary issues, communicating needs clearly, and maintaining personal peace through effective boundary-setting strategies.

The Joy of Saying No

The Joy of Saying No by Natalie Lue offers practical advice on assertiveness, helping readers to set boundaries and maintain healthier relationships. It explores the impact of people-pleasing behaviour and provides strategies for overcoming guilt and fear associated with refusing demands. Through this approach, the book aims to empower individuals to lead more authentic and fulfilling lives.

The People Pleaser's Guide to Putting Yourself First

The People Pleaser's Guide to Putting Yourself First by Hollie Azzopardi is a transformative self-help book that empowers readers to break free from the habit of putting others' needs before their own. It offers practical advice and strategies to confidently prioritise one's own well-being, leading to healthier relationships and a more fulfilled life. The author draws from personal experiences and insights to guide readers towards embracing self-worth and setting boundaries.

The Way of Integrity

The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck is a transformative guide that explores how living in alignment with your true self can lead to profound personal fulfilment. Drawing on Dante's Divine Comedy, Beck illustrates a journey of self-discovery and sheds light on how following one's deepest truth can result in joy, meaning, and a sense of purpose. This book invites readers to reclaim their own integrity, offering steps and insights to break free from self-deceptive habits and societal constraints.

Boundaries Workbook

In Boundaries Workbook by John Townsend and Henry Cloud, the authors guide readers through understanding and establishing healthy boundaries in various aspects of life. Focusing on practical exercises and reflective questions, the workbook aims to help individuals navigate relationships while maintaining a balance between love and limits, rooted in spiritual principles.

Radical Candor

I've been struggling with the question of leadership recently, and it's felt so empowering to remember how much positive change can be unlocked just by picking up a book and having new perspectives inserted directly into your brain. I'm loving Radical Candor because it's reminded me that in leadership it's the strength of your relationships that count, giving you the freedom to have frank and honest conversations that help both the business and the people within it grow. Unlike so many books on leadership and personal growth, Radical Candor has credibility as Kim Scott has enjoyed a tremendous career at Apple and Google, and also brings the perspective of being a female leader which I loved. I'm on a real Radical Candor buzz at the moment and I...

Breaking the Patterns That Break You

Experience lasting healing and real hope as you learn to break free of destructive patterns in your life. At some point everyone finds themselves wondering… Why do I keep falling into the same patterns that leave me feeling broken? Will I ever move past the pain and experience healing? Is there something wrong with me? In Breaking the Patterns That Break You, bestselling author Tori Hope Petersen shares the profound ways she finally found relief and healing from the pain of her past, and how you can too. Tori gently shows you why it is important to recognize the destructive personal, relational, and generational patterns in your life so you can finally find freedom. As Tori weaves together vulnerable storytelling, therapeutic insights, and biblical teaching, you will feel...

The Courage to Like Yourself

WHAT IF THE ONLY APPROVAL YOU NEEDED WAS YOUR OWN? The sequel to the bestselling international phenomenon The Courage to Be Disliked, The Courage to Like Yourself challenges beliefs about self-worth, contentment and belonging, and shows us how we can find happiness through accepting ourselves as we are. As with The Courage to Be Disliked, we follow a conversation between a philosopher and a young man. The philosopher believes the key to a happy life lies in our ability to stop seeking external validation and to start living authentically. Once we find the courage to let go of the ideas and stories we have about ourselves, contentment, connection and purpose follow. This is a work that is truly life-changing in its power, and universally applicable in its scope....

You Can't Please Everyone

Do you feel torn between who you are and who the world is asking you to be? Do you feel guilty for wanting peace, anxious about setting boundaries, and responsible for everyone's happiness but your own? Do you feel torn between who you are and who the world is asking you to be? Do you feel guilty about setting boundaries and responsible for everyone's happiness but your own? In this quietly extraordinary book, Vex King, #1 bestselling author of Good Vibes, Good Life, offers a clear, practical path out of people-pleasing and back to your centre. You'll learn how to: Pursue success and joy without sacrificing your peace or sense of self Navigate difficult relationship dynamics Process guilt and anger without becoming overwhelmed Protect your spirit and set...

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

In Dance Like Nobody's Watching, spiritual teacher Michelle Wadleigh invites you on a transformative journey through the ten essential dimensions of self—from Self-Awareness to Self-Love. With each chapter, you are guided through illuminating truths, gentle provocations, and practical soul work to uncover the power, presence, and potential already within you. Combining the insight of beloved spiritual traditions with the tools of modern coaching, Dance Like Nobody's Watching helps readers confront internalised beliefs that keep them small—like self-criticism, shame, and unworthiness—and replace them with liberating practices of self-inquiry, self-forgiveness, and self-expression. Each chapter is woven with powerful quotes, heartfelt letters to the self, and daily practices to deepen reflection and activate change. Whether you're new to inner work or ready for your next awakening, this book will meet you...

Good Anger

A 2025 book of the year - The Independent Includes a bonus chapter on anger and parenting --- 'A marvellous book ... enhances our understanding of ourselves and others.' - IRVINE WELSH 'Enlightening' - MAIL ON SUNDAY 'If you want to figure anger out – then this is for you' – FINANCIAL TIMES -- TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ANGER Feeling ashamed or afraid of anger is a major factor in why many of us suffer with anxiety and depression. Yet when we learn to listen to it properly and act on it wisely, anger becomes a source of remarkable energy and purpose – an emotion that not only protects us but helps improve all areas of our lives, from love to creativity to professional success. In Good Anger,...