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A life-changing message for our lonely age—leading behavioural scientist Nicholas Epley helps us understand our social fears and shows how small acts of connection and wiser social habits can transform our lives.

Leading psychologist Nicholas Epley helps us understand why our social fears are often mistaken and how small acts of connection can ultimately transform our lives.

Social connection enriches our lives and is essential to our happiness and health—yet so often we choose not to connect. Why?

We are among the most social species on the planet, uniquely equipped to connect with others. Doing so makes us happier, healthier, and more successful. Yet so often we shy away from it—whether that's saying hello to the stranger who sits next to us, or moving beyond small talk with a work colleague, or holding back from expressing our gratitude to people we appreciate. We are missing out on so much.

In this inspiring book, psychologist Nicholas Epley reveals how misplaced social fears interrupt our instinct to connect and how to overcome them. Drawing on decades of research, he explains why we tend to be overly pessimistic about how others will respond to a social approach. This becomes self-fulfilling as we avoid the kinds of interaction that create strong connections—such as having a conversation—in favour of less satisfying interactions—such as social media or texting. Above all, he shows that bridging the gap between two people is far easier than we think and success is more likely than we imagine.

Whether introvert or extrovert, we all can benefit from being just a little more social. Even the smallest adjustments can bring surprising rewards. And as Epley shows, gradually building wiser social habits can ultimately have life-changing results.