Calling In

In 1979, Loretta Ross was a single mother who had to drop out of Howard University. She was working at Washington, DC’s Rape Crisis Center when she got a letter from a man in prison expressing his desire to learn how not to be a rapist anymore. Initially, she was furious. As a survivor of sexual violence, she wanted to write back pouring out her rage.

But instead, she made a different choice: a choice to reject the response her trauma was pushing her towards, a choice that set her on the path towards developing a philosophy that would guide her entire career. Rather than calling people out, she aimed to call even her unlikeliest allies in. She held them accountable—but did so with love.

Calling In is at once a handbook, a manifesto, and a memoir—because the power of Loretta Ross’s message comes from who she is and what she has lived through. She is a Black woman who has deprogrammed white supremacists and a survivor who has taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism. With stories from her five remarkable decades in activism, she vividly illustrates why calling people in—inviting them into conversation instead of conflict by focusing on shared values over a desire for punishment—is the more strategic choice if you want to make real change.

She shows you how to do so, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, or in your living room.

Courageous, awe-inspiring, and blisteringly authentic, Calling In is a practical new solution from one of our country’s most extraordinary change-makers—one anyone can learn to use to transform frustrating and divisive conflicts that stand in the way of real connection with the people in your life.